What Fred and George may not do at Hogwarts
by FredGeorgeandMaraudersrule
Summary: Throughout the years Fred and George have built up a reputation for pranks. Here is the list of what Fred and George may not do, under any circumstance, at Hogwarts.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

Throughout the years Fred and George have built up a reputation for pranks. Here are the many things that Fred and George may not do, under any circumstance, at Hogwarts.

 **1\. I may not convince Neville Longbottom that Snape stole Trevor to use for a potion.**

"Have you seen Trevor anywhere?" asked Neville, "I can't find him."

Fred started grinning wickedly,

"Neville didn't you know that Snape stole Trevor to use in a potion?" he asked.

"Yeah," George chimed in, "you better go to his dungeon and get Trevor back before Snape cuts him up." Neville gulped,

"I'll go get him immediately," he whispered and ran off to the dungeons. A few minutes later, they heard Snape's furious roar,

"WEASLEYS!'

 **2\. I may not go around calling myself James Potter, especially not in front of Snape.**

George was walking around Hogwarts quite contently. He had pulled off yet another incredible prank on Snape. As he was making up plans for his next prank, he heard the voice all Gryfinndor's hate, the voice of Severus Snape.

"What have you done to my lab Weasley? Tell me right now or you'll be in detention for a month!" George pretended to be affronted and said,

"That's James Potter to you, Snivellus." Snape was so shocked that George got away before Snape could yell,

"WEASLEY, DETENTION!"

 **3\. I may not call Professor Dumbledore Gandalf. I must refer to him as Professor, Headmaster, or Sir.**

"Well, George, we're back at Gandalf's office again, aren't we?" remarked Fred.

"We are indeed, Fred. Remember to show him his due respect." replied George. As they got to his office, they prostrated themselves in front of him and shouted,

"Fred – and George – at your service, sir." Unfortunately for them, McGonagall was standing next to Dumbledore and shouted, "FRED, GEORGE, DETENTION! THAT IS NOT HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOUR HEADMASTER!"

 **3a. On a related note, I may not sing "Far over the Misty Mountains Cold" while going to Gandalf, er, Dumbledore's office.**

Fred and George were just innocently walking along, not at all planning another prank, when they bumped into Harry.

"Hey there Harry," shouted Fred, "Where're you going?" Harry groaned, rolled his eyes, and replied that he was going to Dumbledore's office.

"Excellent!" remarked George, "We will accompany you." As Harry watched in confusion, the two locked arms and began to skip while singing,

" _Far over the misty mountains cold, To dungeons deep and caverns old, We must away ere break of day –_ "Unfortunately for them, they were interrupted by a very annoyed looking Snape.

"WEASLEYS, DETENTION!"

"But, Professor," George whined, "That's not in the song."

"DOUBLE DETENTION! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT NOW!"

 **3b. On yet another related note, I may not transfigure a sword and pretend that I am Thorin, or any other member of the Company for that matter.**

George woke up one day and decided he needed to pull yet another prank. He called Fred and told him about his idea. A wicked grin appeared on Fred's face. They both transfigured swords and hopped out into the Great Hall. George cast sonoros on himself and shouted, "Behold! I am Thorin, and I have come to take over this castle." Professor McGonagall sighed and looked at George, "You may not pretend to be Thorin and run around waving swords. DETENTION!" Then Fred piped up,

"What if we pretend to be Fili and Kili?"

 **4\. I may not tell Luna that the Nargles are taking over the world.**

Fred was walking along when he felt a strong urge to pull a prank on somebody. But who? Then, he saw Luna and grinned. Perfect.

"Hey Luna," Fred yelled, "Don't you know that the Nargles are taking over. Luna gasped,

"Really! Oh no! I better pack my things and move to Australia. I told everyone that the Nargles are coming, but they wouldn't believe me. Now they'll be sorry." And with that, Luna ran off.

As Fred started laughing heartily at Luna's gullibility, he heard Professor Flitwick come up the hallway. Flitwick glared at him and said, "Mr. Weasley, you may not convince other students to move to Australia. DETENTION."

 **4a.** **On a related note, I may not tell Luna that the Crumple-Horned Snorcack has been found in Australia.**

George was laughing hysterically as Fred told him about the prank he had played on Luna. He decided he could one-up Fred. He went up to Luna, and said,

"Luna, don't you know that the Crumpled-Horned Snorcack has been found in Australia?"

"Really, she exclaimed! I better go there at once. I'll call daddy and pack my bags." She said as she dashed off to the common room.

As George started laughing heartily at Luna's gullibility, he heard Professor Flitwick come up the hallway. Flitwick glared at him and said, "Mr. Weasley, you may not convince other students to move to Australia. DETENTION."

 **5\. Regardless of my personal feelings, I may not call Umbridge a toad. Even if she does look like one.**

As George walked by laughing, he saw Umbridge. Umbridge scowled. She hated the Weasleys. She knew they were behind the pranks. She looked at George, felt an unreasonable surge of anger, and yelled,

"WEASLEY, DETENTION FOR A MONTH" George turned to look derisively at Umbridge.

"I'm sorry, Umbridge" he crowed, "but toads can't give out detention." And before Umbridge had realized what he had said, George was gone, laughing with glee.

 **6\. I may not tell the Ravenclaws that there is a secret library inside the Slytherin common room.**

Fred yawned as he attempted to figure out a new prank. Then he had the perfect plan, and he raced out of Gryffindor tower. Soon he found who he was looking for, a Ravenclaw.

"Hey Anthony," called Fred, "Don't you know that there is a secret library in the Slytherin common room?" Anthony looked up unconvinced.

"Yeah, right. This is just one of your stupid pranks again, isn't it?" Anthony said.

"Of course not Anthony," Fred claimed, "we would never pull a prank when it comes to learning." Unfortunately for Anthony, his love for reading won out over his common sense.

"How do you get into the Slytherin common room?" he asked.

"Simple," crowed Fred, "just gather up all the Ravenclaws and attack Slytherin Tower." A few minutes later, the voice of a very angry Snape could be heard,

"WEASLEYS, DETENTION"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and unfortunately never will**

 **7\. I may not send Ginny one of Hogwarts' toilet seats.**

George was trying to think of another prank to do, when suddenly he got an idea.

"Hey Fred," George asked, "Remember when we promised Ginny a toilet seat."

"You're right George," Fred replied, "We must always fulfill our promises." With a grin, the two pranksters went to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, ignored her shrieks as they pulled out the toilet seat, and managed to convince one of the owls in the owlery to send the toilet seat to the Burrow.

The resulting howler from Molly Weasley would go down in Hogwarts lore.

 **8\. I may not change the password the Slytherin Dungeons to 'Muggleborn'**

Fred slipped out of the dungeons chortling with laughter before anyone could see him.

"I take you've done it?" asked George.

"Yup, I've changed the password to Muggleborn, can't wait to see Snape's face." Replied Fred. Soon after, the Slytherins arrived at the tower. Draco Malfoy went up and said confidently

"Pureblood" Nothing happened, he tried again, "Pureblood" Still nothing, now he got really angry, "Open up already, Pureblood" The door didn't open.

"Er, Malfoy," one of the first years asked, "Maybe you should ask the prefects."

"Impossible" he yelled, "our password never changes. But I guess you can go ask the prefects if you want." Just then, a perfectly aimed paper airplane flew in. It said 'Your new password is Muggleborn'

The anger-filled yell of Draco Malfoy could be heard in Gryffindor Tower.

 **9\. I may not convince the house-elves to replace Malfoy's food with raw meat**

"Are you sure this is what he will be wanting, sirs," Dobby asked in a confused voice.

"Of course, Dobby, Harry Potter requested it himself," said Fred

"Dobby will do what Harry Potter wants, sirs," Dobby then said enthusiastically.

Fred and George couldn't wait for dinner, and they were happy to see that the house-elves hadn't let him down. In front of Malfoy was raw meat.

"What on earth is this," Malfoy yelled.

"Why, it's ferret food," replied George, "we thought you needed to embrace your inner nature." And with that, he was gone, before Malfoy could yell,

"MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS"

 **10\. I may not use the first years as lab rats.**

"Come all, Come all, Work as testers for Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. One Galleon for every product you test," said the poster on the wall.

"Fred, George," asked Professor McGonagall, "I'm sure you would love to tell me why all the first years are in the hospital wing."

"I have no idea Professor," said George with what he hoped was an innocent look.

"Maybe detention will jog your memory," said Professor McGonagall. "You have detention for a month."

"But Professor," Fred whined,

"Detention with Snape."

 **11\. I may not hire first years to complete my detention. My detentions are to be done alone.**

"Are you sure this is okay, Mr. Weasley," asked a nervous first-year.

"Of course it is," replied Fred, "remember we're paying you for this." A little while later, the lines were complete, and Fred and George turned to go. Unfortunately, for them, Professor McGonagall had been watching. She glared at them,

"Since you hate lines so much, I think it would be fair to triple your original punishment. Detention tomorrow, and if you hire any other first-year to do your lines, you'll regret it."

 **11a. On a related note, I may not get house-elves to complete my detention.**

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Fred?" asked George, "She sure was mad yesterday,"

"Ah, Minnie's got a soft spot for us," claimed Fred, "plus, we're making house-elves happy."

"I guess you're right," George conceded, "Look, our lines are already done."

"Us elves are done, sirs," squeaked a house elf, "We is going back now to the kitchens" Fred and George grinned, but before they could move they bumped into McGonagall who was steaming mad.

"If you think it above yourself to do lines, perhaps we need another punishment. You two will clean all of the Great Hall without magic."

"Aw Minnie," Fred protested

McGonagall pretended she hadn't heard him, but her face was turning red.

"If you two get anyone else to do it for you, you two will clean all of Hogwarts by yourself without magic." Then she turned her back and stormed away. Fred elbowed George and whispered,

"Still worth it for the look on her face."

 **12\. I may not ask Filch what house he was in at Hogwarts, for it is extraordinarily cruel. Exceedingly funny, but extraordinarily cruel.**

"We have detention with Filch again, "George groaned, "It's so unfair; we didn't do anything."

"But we can still annoy him. I have the perfect idea," remarked Fred.

"What is that?" asked George.

"You'll see," replied Fred cryptically. When they got there, Filch was waiting for them. But before he could tell them their punishment, Fred broke in.

"Hey, Filch, you never told us what house you were in at Hogwarts." Questioned Fred.

Filch almost dropped his broom. Surely he hadn't heard that right.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Filch: What house were you in?" asked Fred grinning. Filch temper started to get out of hand. He snarled,

"Get out." Fred sniggered,

"Are you going to hex us if we don't?" And before Filch could say anything, Fred and George ran out laughing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I am no closer to owning Harry Potter**

 **13\. I may not do the Headmaster's speech. That is for the headmaster to do, not myself.**

"This is going to be awesome," muttered Fred.

"I know," replied George, "You sure you haven't forgotten anything."

"Positive," replied Fred.

"Here goes," muttered George, as he pointed his wand at Dumbledore and the teachers and muttered "Silencio". Professor Dumbledore opened his mouth, but nothing came out. McGonagall opened her mouth to yell, but she couldn't talk. Fred took this as his cue, stood up, and announced,

"As our current teachers are currently indisposed, the great responsibility falls to me. Firstly, going into the Forbidden Forest is very important. Any first year who doesn't accomplish this at least once will be banned from returning to Hogwarts."

"Furthermore," continued Fred, "The list of rules you must break hangs outside Filch's office. Break all of them, and you will be immune from our pranks for a whole year. Unless, of course, we forget."

"However," George quickly broke in, "The true reward is in the task. Finally, please remember that Snivellus, also known as Professor Snape, should be disobeyed at all costs. "

"Finally, you must all remember to visit our esteemed Headmaster at least once in the school year. The best way to do that is to pull off a rather wonderful prank. Now we will run, for the Professors are after our blood. Goodbye."

 **14\. I may not attempt to kidnap a first-year and use him as my slave.**

"Hey, where are you taking me?" a first year yelled, "Leave me alone."

"I am afraid that is impossible," said Fred, "The Hogwarts code of conduct states that all first-years must serve as slaves."

"You're lying!" hissed the Slytherin first year, "If you don't let me go now –"

"I am not interested in who your father is," replied George dryly. Unfortunately for them, they ran right into Snape, who glared at them.

"Let me remind you, Weasleys, that attempted kidnapping is a crime that could lead to suspen-." He didn't get any further, for Fred and George dropped the first-year on Snape and ran for their lives.

 **14a. On a related note, I may not attempt to kidnap Draco Malfoy and use him as my slave.**

"Weasleys," Malfoy snarled in what he thought was a threatening tone, "If you don't let me go right now, my father will hear about this." George laughed a humorless laugh.

"We're not afraid of your father."

"Be as that may," a voice broke in, "I do hope you are afraid of me." The twins looked up and saw the face of Professor McGonagall. They gulped, dropped Malfoy, and ran for it, but they weren't so lucky this time. Mcgonagall reached out, grabbed them, and said,

"Detention, and I'm writing home to your parents about your disturbing tendency to kidnap others."

 **15\. I may not speak utter nonsense. I have a brain and I will use it.**

"Weasley," Snape snarled, "Why are you not paying attention to your potion?" With a completely straight face, Fred replied,

"Sir, the mutated apes are taking over the world with grapes." It took Snape a minute to realize that Fred had just spouted utter nonsense.

"Say that again Weasley and it's detention for you. Answer me, why are you not paying attention to your potion?" This time, it was George who answered,

"Sir, the chair grew an arm and kidnapped the nuclear bomb." When Snape realized that George too was spouting utter nonsense, he got steaming mad.

"WEASLEYS, Detention at 7 and get out of my class." Later, when Fred and George showed up for detention, Snape glowered at them and snarled,

"Your detention is as follows. You will write a thousand times 'I may not speak utter nonsense. I have a brain and I will use it." George looked up at him, nodded his head and said,

"The octopi of the sea would agree with you, Professor."

 **16\. I may not change all the books in the Hogwarts library to copies of Zonko's Book of Pranks**

Fred and George walked into the Headmaster's Office.

"I take you know why you are here, don't you," said Dumbledore with his eyes twinkling, "I know it was very advanced charmwork and I believe I overheard Professor Flitwick awarding you both 20 points, but please do tell us the counterspell. In fact, I'll make you a deal; you give me the counterspell and you go free. I wouldn't mind the library staying as it is, but all the Ravenclaws and one Hermione Granger are almost in tears."

"Well," said Fred, "I supposed we could."

"Yeah," replied George, "We might as well. The counterspell is Mutare Codicem" And with that, Fred and George left Professor Dumbledore's office, marveling at how they had gotten off scot free.

 **17\. I may not change Percy Weasley's Ministry of Magic application form so that it says Toilet** **Cleaner.**

The next morning, Fred and George spotted a howler incoming with their mail. They were a bit surprised, but opened it anyway, and heard Percy Weasley's screaming voice.

"FRED AND GEORGE! HOW DARE YOU CHANGE MY MINISTRY OF MAGIC APPLICATION FORM TO SAY TOILET CLEANER! HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR THE GREATEST ORGANIZATION IN THE WORLD! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! YOU TWO ARE GOING TO END UP AS DROPOUTS YOU HEAR ME! URGGGGGGHHHHH!" Fred looked up and said,

"Mom gives better howlers."

 **17a. On a related note, I may not change Dolores Umbridge's badge so it says toilet cleaner instead of High Inquisitor.**

As Dolores Umbridge strolled around the halls of Hogwarts, she noticed everyone in sight was snickering at her. She yelled at a first year,

"Hem, hem. You may not laugh at a High Inquisitor. That is Educational Decree 2964. Tell me what is so funny or else."

"You're a High Inquisitor?" said the first year, "Your badge says that you're a toilet cleaner." Dolores Umbridge ranted and raved, but she couldn't find the prankster.

 **18\. I may not switch Professor McGonagall's wand with a fake one.**

Professor McGonagall was teaching Transfiguration to the first years. She began,

"With transfiguration, you can do anything. For example, you can change a desk into a pig and back again." She waved her wand at the desk, but instead of changing the desk into a pig, the wand squawked and turned into a rubber chicken. As the whole class started laughing, McGonagall went outside, and yelled "FRED, GEORGE, DETENTION."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I still do not own Harry Potter**

 **19\. I may not charm the owls to attack students or professors**

Fred and George made their way early to breakfast, grinning madly. Most of the students around them pushed their chairs back, and ate only what the two ate in order not to be pranked. That, however, wouldn't help the victims that Fred and George had chosen. Fred nudged George and whispered,

"If we mess this up, Snape will kill us."

"Relax; I'm sure I got this spell right." Just then, the owls flew in and dropped their letters as Fred and George waited with bated breath. Their plan had worked; the owls flew straight for Snape and the rest of the Slytherins. Snape acted quickly and placed a shield charm around himself, but the other Slytherins weren't so smart. The owls crashed into them far too quickly for any of the professors to help. Flitwick sprung to his feet and muttered something, and the owls flew away. The twins started snickering, until they saw Snape towering over them. He snarled,

"I hope you enjoy cleaning. You get to clean the Potions lab with a toothbrush."

 **20\. I may not skip classes because of a holiday I invented**

Dumbledore peered down at Fred and George.

"The teachers have been telling me that you have missed every class today. Care to explain why?"

"You see professor," started Fred, "Today is a very important holiday – Weasley Day. Celebrated on March 31."

"Therefore, Professor," said George, "We thought it only correct that we honor it by taking the day off." Dumbledore laughed.

"Unfortunately, I'm sure that the school would be in an uproar if you were allowed to invent holidays. Go along now, and no making up any extra holidays. I'm sure you can make it up to the teacher's tomorrow." George leaned over to Fred and whispered,

"He forgot it's April Fool's Day tomorrow."

 **21\. I may not tell Trelawney the world is ending. The fact that it is April Fool's Day doesn't matter.**

Trelawney walked around her classroom, peering into the crystal balls.

"Use your inner eye. Go deep into your mind and see what is there. Predict all there is to predict. You, Weasley, what do you see." Fred sniggered and said in a worried tone,

"I-I see d-death a-and the-the grim and-and the world's ending." The whole class was doing their best to stop laughing, but Trelawney didn't notice. She swayed, muttered, and fell in a dead faint. After the class stopped laughing, they noticed Fred and George were gone. Indeed they were, they were back to Dumbledore's office to tell him that his Divination Teacher had fainted (and they didn't want McGonagall to find out).

 **22\. I may not start a betting pool on how many points Snape will take from Gryffindor in a**

 **day.**

"20 points from Gryffindor, Bell. Class dismissed," snarled Snape. But none of the Gryffindors left; they were all huddled around the twins' desk. Fred cast Sonorus on himself, and said in what he thought to be an announcer's voice,

"The winner is – Alicia Spinnett, who correctly predicted that Snape would take 75 points from Gryffindor this class. It's lucky for her that class has ended, because Snape is currently taking more points away. Now he's coming towards us threateningly. Time to run, Bye, and see you next time."

 **22\. I may not attempt to give a flea collar to Professor Lupin. Note the word attempt; I'll never succeed.**

Fred couldn't believe it. How could he have been caught? He had planned perfectly. While he was ranting at himself, Professor Lupin came in.

"Boys, boys. I noticed the wonderful gift of the flea collar you attempted to give me. Unfortunately for you, I'm a Marauder; and so tricking me is going to be basically impossible."

"You're a Marauder," George gasped, "We are not worthy of your presence." The twins fell at his feet.

"Oh great master, please help us in our quest to become amazing pranksters. We will never prank you again," Professor Lupin's eyebrow was raised.

"I supposed I could help you. But not now, I have classes to teach, bye." And with that he was gone, so fast that neither Fred or George could beseech him to stop. A few seconds later, George looked at his watch.

"Oh, shit, we're late for Transfiguration. McGonagall is going to kill us."

 **23\. I may not use freedom of speech as an excuse to be a cheeky brat.**

"Weasley, what are you doing to your potion?" yelled Snape.

"Shut up, sir," said George lazily, not even bothering to look up.

"Excuse me?" roared Snape furiously, "That's 30 points of Gryffindor and detention for a week."

"Sorry, professor, we have the freedom of speech to do whatever we want." Snape walked over and snarled in their face,

"You will write 'I will not be a cheeky brat' 1000 times for your detention. Now get out of my class."

 **24\. I may not tell the first years that there is gold hidden in the Forbidden Forest**

"Really?" questioned an excited first year, "There's really gold hidden in the Forbidden Forest?"

"There is," replied George, "That's why they named it the Forbidden Forest. They don't want anyone else to get it." Hours later, Madam Pomfrey would be curing a vast number of children who had managed to get themselves bitten in the Forbidden Forest. While she was doing that, Fred and George were writing lines. They were writing 'I will not tell the 1st years anything that isn't true. I may not use their gullibility to my own means.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

 **25\. I may not enchant the statues of armor to sing nursery rhymes.**

As Snape walked down the hallway, he could have sworn he heard someone singing The Grand Old Duke of York. He passed it off a figment of his imagination, as there was no one there, but then he heard it again.

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream –" Snape whipped out his wand and found himself facing a statue of armor. In a second, it all clicked

"WEASLEY!"

 **26\. I may not tell Sir Cadogan that Snape has challenged him to a duel.**

"So, you see, Sir Cadogan, the only way to redeem yourself is to fight him," said George patiently.

"And so I shall," he declared pompously, "I shall find you Snape, and when I do you will wish you had never seen Sir Cadogan." Fred and George were trying to contain their laughter.

And with that, Sir Cadogan set off on his quest to find Snape. Snape, himself, was still on high alert after the nursery rhyme incident, so he immediately spun around to find a slightly deranged portrait. He growled, and Sir Cadogan took that as an insult.

"You there insult me, you coward. Come fight me, fight me I say, you are a useless pig. Too scared to do anything –" Sir Cadogan broke off as Snape hurled a stinging hex at the portrait. He snarled,

"GET OVER HERE WEASLEYS, AND IF I EVER SEE YOU TAMPER WITH AN INAMINATE OBJECT AGAIN, YOU WILL REGRET IT."

"You dare call me inanimate," yelled Sir Cadogan, "That is an insult to my honor. I challenge you to a duel." His yells were heard by none; Snape had already left the room.

 **27\. I may not call Harry Potter 'The Boy who Lived to piss Voldemort off'**

"Make way, make way," yelled Fred, "Here he comes now, the one and only, the only one, the boy who lived to piss Voldemort off." There were gasps at the mention of Voldemort's name in the Gryffindor common room. Harry just rolled his eyes. George went on,

"If you don't want to bring upon yourself his ire, make way for the boy who live to piss Voldemort off." The Gryffindors split to give Harry a path out of the crowded common room. Fred and George were laughing. They couldn't believe people would be that easy to scare.

Unfortunately for them, Professor McGonagall had been watching, and assigned them detention for "scaring poor, naive first years". However, Professor Dumbledore had been saying something that sounded suspiciously like "10 points to Gryffindor for bravery".

 **28\. I may not call myself Batman. Or Spiderman.**

Harry nudged Ron, "What are your brothers doing?"

"The twins? Who knows what they're doing? Let's hope it's not something too horrible." replied Ron.

"Behold," shouted George, "I am Batman, come to save you poor souls from the horrors of school." To make his point completely clear, George was decked out in a rather good Batman outfit. "I will rid this school of those who do not belong in it. Starting with … Draco Malfoy!" He then walked/flew to the Slytherin table and attempted to drag Malfoy off his chair. Before he could get close to succeeding, Snape tapped him on the shoulder,

"DETENTION WEASLEY, and 10 points from Gryffindor for that horrible outfit."

Suddenly Fred, decked out in a new Spiderman costume, appeared in the hall. He announced,

"Where Batman has failed, I, Spiderman, will succeed. I will drag Malfoy out of his seat. I will remove him from this school. I will stand for what is right and just. I … will run because Snape is after me. I will stand for what is right and just later. Bye!" Harry was shaking his head.

"I got to hand it to them. I didn't know they knew about Muggle superheroes."

 **29\. I may not sell my knowledge of the Slytherin password for money.**

"Come all, come all" yelled Fred, "Come for special knowledge of the Slytherin password among many other exciting things. Knowledge of the Slytherin password is 1 galleon; Knowledge of where the Slytherin dungeons are located is 2 galleons; Knowledge of the password to Snape's private lab is 15 galleons; and our exclusive deal, the password to Snape's private chambers is only 25 galleons." And that was how they found themselves in the headmaster's office for the 413th time since they started Hogwarts. Dumbledore's eyes were full of merriment.

"I must say, boys, I am rather impressed that you found out the password to Snape's private chambers. But, next time, please try to keep the knowledge to yourself, as telling you not to do it is probably too much."

"Yes, Professor," Fred and George chorused.

"Also," said Dumbledore, "Snape has duly changed his passwords, and I am sure he will be stepping up security."

"Security?" guffawed George, "I'm telling you Professor, Snape has no security around his chambers." Dumbledore sighed,

"Off you go boys, and don't make me ask you why you want to be inside Snape's chambers."

 **30\. I may not use class time to advertise Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.**

"Hem, hem," started Umbridge, "Wands away please." She didn't manage to say anymore, as Fred had nonverbally stunned her.

"Good to see that they're good for something," he remarked casually, "Now that she's out of the way, let's get to some important stuff."

"Buy from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes," advertised George, "A discount for all those who promise to use the products against Umbridge. A further discount for all Gryffindors, and another discount for those on the Quidditch team."

"Now we'll move on to the products," said Fred, "We sell Fainting Fancies, Puking Pastilles, Canary Creams, and many other sweets that are good for a laugh. Furthermore, use of these products will help in dethroning Umbridge from her reign of terror." He went on like this for the rest of the class, and not so surprisingly McGonagall did nothing about it, while the students questioned Umbridge's mental health for claiming she had been stunned during class time.


	6. Chapter 6

**31\. I may not sell Crabbe and Goyle a defective version of the Marauder's Map.**

"Where are we Goyle?" asked Crabbe with a confused look on his face.

"The map says that the Potions classroom should be on the right," he replied.

"If you say so," replied Crabbe, "even though this does look a bit like the Forbidden Forest. Then again, the map doesn't tell lies." Neither of the two noticed the two eyes staring hungrily at them.

 **32\. I may not bring a dog into Professor McGonagall's classroom.**

Professor McGonagall paced her class in her cat form as always, looking for any latecomers. Suddenly she smelled something different, and whipped around to see a dog. She screamed and transformed back, much to the amazement of all the students. She marched outside and saw Fred and George grinning. She yelled,

"Fred, George, you are in so much trouble. Wait till I get my hands on you." Fred grinned innocently,

"Don't you have a class to teach?"

 **33\. I may not replace Hermione's Muggle Studies book with a copy of the** _ **Hobbit**_ **.**

Hermione ran back to her dormitory. She was so far behind in all her work, and exams were 8 months away. She had to study for Charms, no Transfiguration, no Potions, no she'd study for Muggle Studies. Where was her textbook? She was sure she left it here. Wait, here it was. No, this wasn't it. This was a copy of the _Hobbit_. She let out a shrill scream. Now she'd fail Muggle Studies. Her life was ruined. She'd fail; get kicked out of Hogwarts. Somehow, she found her way to Dumbledore's office.

"Headmaster, you have to do something. My life is ruined. Please help me." Dumbledore chuckled and went outside to where he knew the Weasley twins were hiding. He called,

"I'm afraid, Fred and George, that you'll have to return her books. I don't know what will happen if you don't."

 **34\. I may not switch the password to Gryffindor's common room to "The Chudley Cannon's Suck"**

Ron marched up confidently to the Fat Lady,

"Balderdash." Nothing happened. Suddenly a paper airplane hit him. He unfolded it and read,

"The password has something to do with the Chudley Cannons." Ron laughed. Easy.

"The Chudley Cannons rock." Nothing happened. He tried again, "The Chudley Cannons are amazing." Nothing. Again, "The Chudley Cannons are the best." Still nothing.

-1 hour later

"The Chudley Cannons will win the championship." Harry walks by and laughs.

"Mate, I think I know the password. The Chudley Cannons suck." Ron let out a shrill scream and threatened to get even with his brothers if it was the last thing he did. He didn't notice the twins hiding and snickering.

 **35\. I may not switch Snape's wand with a fake one.**

Snape started off on his usual spiel to the first years, while glaring at them so fiercely that some were trying their best not to cry. He said pompously,

"There will be no foolish wand-waving in my class." To help further illustrate his point, he waved his wand around. His wand squawked and turned into a rubber chicken.

Snape's face contorted as he yelled furiously,

"WEASLEYS"

 **36\. Snape's boggart is not James Potter. I may not insinuate that it is.**

Fred's hand waved in the air eagerly. Snape snarled, suspecting a trick, but called on him nevertheless. That would be his undoing.

"What do you want, Weasley. If you're interrupting the class, I'll have you in so much detention, you won't be able to do anything else." Ignoring the threat, Fred asked sweetly,

"Do you really fear James Potter so much that he is your boggart?" Snape spluttered at the very idea. Before he could retort, George chimed in,

"It's okay, Professor. Admit your fear, that's the only way you can conquer it." By now, Snape had recovered his usual demeanor,

"WEASLEYS, DETENTION FOR A MONTH" In a stage whisper, Lee said,

"He's still in denial."

"YOU TOO JORDAN"

* * *

 **Well, there it is. Another chapter, finally. Please review, and if you haven't checked out my other story, please go read it.**


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